The Concert Pianist
by Berlioz II
Summary: Satoshi goes to a concert only to find his past catching up to him.


_Okay, I never thought I'd write this, but got inspired after having a marathon listening session focusing of Rachmaninov's music. I tried to keep this as clean of OTT romantic fluffy-wuffiness and the characters as in character as possible, but whether I was successful I'll leave that for you to judge._

_As a sidenote. I have never been to New York, thus I have never been to Carnegie Hall. All descriptions and the likes are taken from pictures and references (with Carnegie Hall's virtual map on their site being most useful) and the actual happenings during a concert are based on my own experiences of symphony concerts. Also note that I'm not a musician myself, so any musicians reading this, try to ignore any obviously noob moments. Likewise I know that the Petrossian Boutique closes at 8 pm, but I needed a good little café near by, so I used a little creative licence there._

_Dedicated to all the Risa fans and Satoshi fans and Satoshi x Risa fans who continue to inspire me with these two characters._

_Original Characters © Yukiru Sugisaki, 1997  
Original Story © Berlioz II, January 2008_

_2nd, improved version _

* * *

He had tried. Honestly, Satoshi had tried. But it just didn't work out. It was as if the entirety of sampling a normal life was beyond his grasp. And he knew it. But, then again, he had said he would "try" to be happy. Never did he actually promise to be happy.

Satoshi Hiwatari, now 25 years of age, had come to the final realisation that what other people termed as "normal" was not meant for him. But it was not as if he indeed hadn't tried. He had tried for Daisuke's sake, who so wished for his friend to be able to let go of all the old shackles of his former being and embrace a new, bright future. Well, term "bright". Easier said than done. After being trained and disciplined in the old habits of the Hikari stoicism and having to bear the burden of a monster living inside of him, to suddenly just turn around and say "now I'm going to be happy and forget my past" is just not something that really works in execution, even though the concept sounds quite nice. No, Satoshi knew normality would always elude him no matter what he did.

That was one thing Satoshi really had admired about Daisuke; his adaptability to the changes in his surroundings. After all, he had only very late in his life come to know of his "other" existence, whereas Satoshi had been inflicted with the knowledge from very early on; he had adapted to his role as a phantom thief with remarkable adjustability and had managed to balance out his personal and semi-professional lives with surprising flexibility, something Satoshi had always struggled with; and when it came to life after the faithful events of the Black Wings, Daisuke again was able to move forward with his Sacred Maiden, while Satoshi didn't quite know what to do.

Even with the help of Daisuke, the situation was not becoming any easier. He was used to being alone, not being dependent on anyone else but himself, but now he was expected to conform to social surroundings with other people, and if anything Satoshi felt like an outsider, being in a place he was not accepted to. It was one of the reasons he came to reach the decisions he did. And then there was of course her.

Harada Risa. If there was anyone else besides Daisuke who tried to be closer to Satoshi, it was her. It was not really what Satoshi had expected, particularly considering her previous disinterest in him and her near-tragic encounters with Krad in the past. Yet, she genuinely seemed to want to be friends with him, not shunning him away or acting disgusted. Maybe it was just a part of her personality of wanting to get along with everybody, but Satoshi did appreciate her attempts at treating him like a friend she had known for years. And he certainly didn't want to complain. After all Risa wasn't an unattractive girl by any means and, once you got to know her, definitely not a disagreeable one either. But even so, the same applied to her as it did to Daisuke: she was normal, Satoshi was not.

Maybe things could have turned out differently. Maybe if Satoshi could have better embraced this new found closeness to another person, his life could have looked a whole lot differernt than what it looked right now. Maybe he even had some feelings towards the girl, but there was always the question nagging in his head as to did she feel the same way. Maybe. Maybe not. Well, what does it matter now anyway? That's all in the past. The fact remains that Risa's life was not likely to ever coincide with Satoshi's, the same as Daisuke's, or anybody else's for that matter. No, Satoshi was the victim of his own circumstances, and his life could never be one with the regular people in this world.

So the decision to leave his friends and acquaintances had been more out of necessity as far as Satoshi was concerned rather than actual want. Daisuke had, of course, tried to talk him out of it, and even more surprisingly _both_ of the Harada Twins, but Satoshi's decision couldn't be swayed. Thus he just left. No farewells, no backward thoughts. He just disappeared from their lives without much as a glance back. That was nine years ago, nine years of not seeing or hearing about any of them. Though that really shouldn't have come as a big surprise given that Satoshi never gave any means of communication to them, and after finding Japan to be too small for him, the move to New York put him permanently out of touch with his past. It was surprising really how easy it was to get adjusted to another country, but the great mixture of ethnicity of the city certainly helped in forming some kind of blendability that made him get accustomed to his new surroundings faster than in some other place.

And it certainly helped to be quite well off financially after his surprise inheritance of a not too small a forturne from his late, loathed step-father, who so unceremoniously got an axe in his back during the turmoil of the Black Wings. Who knows, maybe deep down his "father" had cared about him to at least some extent, but that he would never have a chance of finding out. At least now he was free to pursue his non-committal life to the fullest: no old familiarities, no family, plenty of cash... everything he needed for a well-off solitary life, even if at times he did have regrets on what could have been. And the bustling city certainly provided plenty of distractions. Such as tonight as he set off for a concert at the famed Carnegie Hall where the programme apparently featured one of his favourite musical pieces, Sergei Rachmaninov's Third Piano Concerto, which he had always admired for its sheer technical challenges and, certainly, any pianist trying to tackle the piece had his work cut out for him. Not that he really cared who was performing the piece tonight. In fact, he had just ordered a ticket on the basis of the work alone and never even bothered to see who the pianist was. He'd find out when he got there.

- O -

Arriving some 45 minutes before the start of the performance, Satoshi stepped inside the magnificent lobby of the late-Renaissance style concert hall that was already filling in with other patrons prepared for the entertainment of the night. With nothing much better to do that standing around looking posh and expensive in his 300 suit and nodding his head to the passing people, he decided to idle his time out in the Café Carnegie (that now somewhat incongruously was called the Citigroup Cafe) before going to his seat in the main Isaac Stern Auditorium. It wasn't the first time he'd been in the building and, truth be told, he quite enjoyed the atmosphere of being a part of something his artistic inclination approved of, even though music wasn't something particularly close to him as opposed to painting. Though he still excelled at several musical instruments to varying degrees and he was certainly knowledgeable on musical history and theory, on the flipside he was also painfully aware that what he did have in technical skill, he lacked in the quality that made music more than just the sum of its notes and this discouraged him from ever thinking about music seriously, particularly as he was a firm believer in "living" art, art that needed conviction from its creator to truly mean something.

Broken out of his musings by the trumpet announcements signalling the concert to begin in 15 minutes, Satoshi got up and headed for the concert hall proper, picking the concert notes while he was at it. Walking through the doors on the Parquet Level (as he had for a change opted to sit near the stage instead of up in the tiers), the sight of the hall most certainly was always as impressive and it struck Satoshi with a feeling of appreciation: the elegantly symmetrical sweep of the tiers above, the tasteful lighting, the deep red carpet below and the restrained, yet ornate stage at the end of the curvilinear set-up was a beautiful thing to behold. It made Satoshi even more baffled why the building was once slated for demolition, regardless of the financial reasons standing behind such a decision. Thankfully such lunacy was quickly addressed by other notable artists who came to the rescue of the old venue.

Sitting down on the plush chair only three rows from the stage, he certainly had a good view of the performers. Leafing the programme notes, he started looking through the works on display tonight.

- O -

_CARNEGIE MUSIC HALL_

_Presents_

_Felix Mendelssohn (1809 – 1847)  
HEBRIDES OVERTURE, OP.26_

_Sergei Rachmaninov (1873 – 1943)  
CONCERTO FOR PIANO AND ORCHESTRA  
IN D MINOR, OP.30_

- O -

_Performed by_

_THE NEW YORK PHILHARMONIC_

_Conductor  
ADRIAN LEAPER_

_Featuring Pianist  
RISA HARADA_

- O -

_7:00 pm, Saturday, May 28, 2015  
57th Steet & 7th Avenue  
New york City, NY, USA_

- O -

'_Hm... short concert, but the concerto is surely worth it,'_ Satoshi thought to himself, _'and nice to have the New York Philharmonic here too. Oh, and Risa's the soloist, how interest...'_ Satoshi's brain reeled a bit back here over what just floated past his head. _'No, it... it couldn't be.'_ Surely he had not misread. The note did read "Risa Harada" plain as day. Surely it must be a coincidence. After all, as far as he knew she didn't even know how to play the piano! Not that he actually could say he knew that much about her to make such a generalised statement, but there was no direct evidence towards it either, let alone her being at Carnegie Hall of all places. No, it sounded almost like a dream. Was he asleep? He was pretty sure he was not, but still... Leafing through the small booklet, a couple of pages in he found her little biography. Surely enough, smiling happily in that little black and white picture was the familiar, though somewhat more matured, face of Harada Risa. Reading the text besides the picture gleaned some information:

"_Winner of the 2011 'Most Exciting New Talent' competition, Risa Harada was born in Azumano, Japan and studied at the Koyo Conservatory in Kobe as a surprisingly gifted pianist for her age. Grand-daughter of famed concert pianist Rika Harada, who taught her from a very early age, Harada has made several appearances all over the world since her graduation in 2010, giving recitals in Vienna, Berlin, Montréal, Luxembourg, Paris, Milan, Philadelphia, Tokyo, Warshaw... has performed concertos by Brahms, Beethoven, Rachmaninov, Mozart, Chopin, Liszt... complete Alkan Etudes... Chopin Preludes and Nocturnes... Beethoven sonatas... awards... recordings..."_

'_She sure has gotten around,'_ Satoshi continued to think with not a little bit of surprise, not the least because this was not anywhere near what he would have thought Risa would end up doing and with apparently not that much formal training. But then again, painting came to Satoshi completely naturally, so why should she be any different.

While so musing, the orchestra started to assemble on the stage to perform the opening overture... not that Satoshi really was paying much attention to them anymore as he was more and more expectant of seeing Risa again after all these years. Has she changed a lot? Well, obviously she can't look like a 15 year old girl anymore, but personality? Views on life? How much had seeing the world changed the little home town girl? Was she currently seeing anybody? Was she in love with anybody? Or anything bigger than that? In short, Satoshi's mind was being bombarded with different questions, both characteristic and uncharacteristic, more so than he actually thought would be possible. After all, he had barely thought about Risa in years, yet suddenly, now that she was so near, he was more and more interested in her life than when he had known her nine years ago. He didn't even notice the orchestra storming to the conclusion on the Hebrides Overture until the audience applause roused him out of his private thoughts. It wouldn't be long now.

After a short break of shifting player positions, re-arranging note stands, and rolling out the grand piano on the stage, the scene was set for the main number to begin any minute now. Satoshi was to his great suprise almost holding his breath. Surely he wasn't _that_excited about seeing her, seeing as he was not that far off committed to her before. Maybe it was simply a case of his past catching up to him. Yeah, that must have been it... after all it would be most abnormal for him to be interested in anybody, let alone somebody who doesn't even figure in his life anymore. Or was it because he was _not_ normal, or was this actually a normal reaction... or what really was normal anymore? ARGH! This is exactly what he had been forced to deal with when he indeed _had_ been with Risa. Confusion of the mind when faced with that girl. Simply nothing ever took the logical route with her. Everything always seemed to veer off to some unfathomable directions when it came to dealing with her... like now. And he hadn't even seen her yet!

Then finally it started. The orchestra again assembled to their seats, each shuffling their instruments and seats and notes. Then the first violinist came up and took his bow. Then the orchestra tuned their instruments in that ever familiar cacophony of noise that sounded like a modern classical piece Satoshi had never been able to understand the beauty of. Then silence and expectation, punctuated here and there by a cough from the audience. And then the door opened, ushering out the conductor and, closely following him, the soloist... Risa. And by goodness, she certainly had matured. She practically sparkled in that deep purple evening gown she was wearing and her step seemed so light that Satoshi was half expecting her to take flight any moment. The conductor and Risa quietly took their places in front of the audience, gave their bows to the people and moved to their respective places, the conductor on the little podium, and Risa seating herself behind the piano. She seemed almost tiny, timid even, behind that big monster of an instrument, as if not entirely sure she could tame the beast that was the Rach 3. But nervous she didn't seem to be with that serene smile gracing her lips. And then the monster began to speak...

The orchestra started to weave its short rhythmic line while Risa gracefully intoned the simple church like melody, so deceptive in its simplicity of what was to follow, with softness of touch, but with underlining passion that Satoshi couldn't but smile as feeling somehow so characteristic of her. From there on the ensuing movement had Satoshi more and more transfixed as it went on. He was quite honestly surprised (for who knows how many times that day) by Risa's apparent skill at her instrument of which he had not even been aware of before just a few minutes before. Her command of technique was impressive, her fingering left fairly little to be desired (particularly for someone whose fingers were not really pianistically long), and most of all, she let the music speak for itself. Her playing was fairly fast than what is standardly heard, but she never rushed the work along, taking her time for introspection and savouring the more full-blown romantic moments, while she did not shy away from attacking the more turbulent bouts of virtuoso show-offing with strength and resolve. Her breezing through the ossia cadenza with fortitude but not with unnecessarily loud clattering made the whole thing sound so easy that Satoshi couldn't but admire it.

Through the alternatingly heart-wrenching and skitteringly scherzo-like second movement's romantic bloom to the fiery Alla breve finale, she never allowed the work to sag, braving every technical obstacle and difficulty Rachmaninov threw her way over the course of the 40 minutes of almost ceaseless pianistic fireworks that left Satoshi speechless and amazed at her dexterity and stamina. But what pleased Satoshi perhaps more than any of the above was her sheer joy of playing, something that practically shone off her face. She literally lived and breathed the music she was making; when the music was romantically beautiful, her face would light up with a happy smile; when the music turned agitated, she would burrow her brows that made her seem almost angered; when the music required a touch of melancholy, she seemed genuinely moved; and when the final coda with its expansively romantic air moves from D minor to major, her face was illuminated with a sense of joy and enlightenment that made even Satoshi's heart warm up with a sense of accomplishment.

The explosive applause and shouts of bravo were of course expected, but Satoshi barely heard them, being too distracted by the blushing pianist on the stage just a few feet from him giving bows and accepting the obligatory bukée of flowers. _'Well there's one characteristic that hasn't changed. Still easily embarrassed,'_ Satoshi thought. The rest of the performance went the usual way of her walking off the stage and returning again to give more bows for the applauding crowd, which on the third outing she, of course as was the etiquette, gave a small encore on the piano, choosing to play the romantic Canzona Serenata of Medtner from the first book of Forgotten Melodies. After two more outings, she finally retired, obviously exhausted, and the occasion was over.

- O -

After walking out of the concert hall, Satoshi started to think what to do next. Usually he'd have no problem in considering his next objective, namely going home, or perhaps having something small to eat before, this being about the only real deviation from that original goal. But now he was feeling something he was not used to. He had a burning desire to meet and speak to Risa. It would be rather unaccountable behaviour for him, but then again just walking away as if he had never seen her there at all didn't really feel right either. It would hardly be very gentlemanly behaviour, particularly towards the person who was one of the rare people in his life he had really felt any closeness to, ever. So with that resolution, he decided to hang back and wait for her to come out.

Luckily he was aware of the Stage Door Entrace on the opposite side of the building on the 56th Street that the artists used so he knew to be positioned near it when Risa was leaving for her place of residence. Surely enough, some fifteen minutes into his wait the door opened and out sundered the familiar figure of Harada Risa, dressed in a New Yorkian long, black coat and contrasting scarf. Apparently just being in the process of hailing a cab, Satoshi interrupted her action by quietly calling out "Harada-san."

Veering in his direction in surprise, it didn't take long for that wondering surprise on her face to melt away and be replaced with a different type of surprise: a joyous one that lightened up her entire face in the way Satoshi so well remembered.

"Hiwatari-kun?" she rhetorically asked, before launching herself in his direction with clear signs of gladness of seeing him. Satoshi probably shouldn't have been that surprised to find that she was not going to be content by simply calmly acknowledging his presence as she promptly gave him a huge tackle-hug and a very warm embrace as if Satoshi was the closest person in her life. _'Some things never change, do they?' _Not that he was complaining, though.

The next thing he knew he was being bombarded with a barrage of questions that, again, he probably should have seen coming a mile away.

"Hiwatari-kun? Is that really you? What are you doing in New York? Were you at the concert? Oh my God, you saw me? Do you go to concerts often? Or did you specifically come to see me play? Oh, I hope I wasn't too bad..."

Indeed, this was one of those things Satoshi had always been of two minds about when it concerned this particular girl: her mouth. The torrent of thoughts that flowed out of that girl were sometimes just so overwhelming and Risa barely ever seemed to notice it herself. It was as if her mind was working at super-speed that didn't allow for one thought to be first pondered over before it was replaced by another. But on the flip side Satoshi didn't find her voice to be disagreeable (luckily) and thus it had always been easy for him to just let her ramble on about this and that and interject only when it was really necessary or that when she expected some sort of a response. Therefore he just let her first clear her mind of all the questions before even attempting to put a word in between there.

"So, how long have you been in New York?" finally came the question she was expecting an answer to and Satoshi was quick to jump on it.

"About nine years now," he gave the laconically factual answer before jumpstarting on a conversation he was hoping to be more in charge of himself. "You look good, Harada-san."

"Oh... thank you, Hiwatari-kun," came the slightly embarrassed answer. Clearly she was still not entirely comfortable of other people outside of herself giving her compliments.

"I must say I am surprised to find you appearing in Carnegie Hall. I didn't even know you played piano, let alone played it so well."

"Uh... yeah. Well, actually I have been playing since I was very young, but I haven't been doing it from a professional standpoint until only recently. And... well, it really wasn't a subject that crept into conversations that easily before." Now she was blushing almost uncontrollably. _'Yes, she definitely still doesn't handle compliments very well.'_

Thinking of taking the edge off from all the awkwardness of standing around exposed on the street like that, Satoshi decided that the girl would be more comfortable in some warmer setting. "Harada-san, may I offer you a cup of coffee? I know of a nice little café not far from here." Might as well go the extra mile as he had already gone out of his way to catch up with her.

Thinking about it for a small while, obviously more out of the surprise of the friendliness of the question coming from this person than for any serious argument of 'yes or no', she finally consented with a warm smile and nod.

- O -

The Petrossian Boutique & Café was a nice, little atmospheric place, specialising in pastries and fish. Not the most cheap of places to go, but Satoshi never bothered with money, particularly when it came to being a gentleman. Taking their orders, Risa having the Hot Chocolate-on-a-stick where you actually melt the chocolate in the milk yourself, while Satoshi just settled on one of their special teas (and while they were at it, had some of their classic smoked salmon as Satoshi was sure Risa was at least a little hungry), they took their seats by a table in one intimate corner of the cafe.

"So... what have you been up to?" she started with a small smile.

"Nothing really much. Life's good. I go to walks often. The usual stuff." In the past Risa probably would have been miffed by such a non-committal answer, demanding him to be a little more detailed instead of being so vague, but maybe she had mellowed over time and didn't feel like pushing it any further, simply responding "Oh, I see," while taking a sip of her drink. Satoshi was relieved and grateful for that. It left him off from being either caught with a lie or having to lie more to make his life seem somehow more fullsome.

"And you?" Satoshi questioned back, more interested in just listening to her voice than thinking of his own, non-existant life.

"I'm doing well. You know, all this concert touring is keeping me busy. I've seen more glimpses of the world in the past four years than I had in all the years leading up to it. It is kind of exhausting though. I mean, I love to play the piano, and I love performing in front of the audience and all, but there seems to be so little time to do anything else, or at least get to know the places I visit before I have to leave some other place. Which I suppose is a little ironic too, when you think that playing classical music in concerts and such isn't really talked of that much anymore, the reality is so different and everybody wants me appearing in one corner of the world at any given time, all the time. Not to mention the other spare time I have goes into doing recordings for different record labels. In fact I only get a few weeks off here and there, with a more substantial downtime over the summer months..."

'_Plan: complete success,'_ Satoshi quietly thought. Indeed, Risa hadn't changed that much at all. It was quite remarkable how easily she just fell into the drift of talking about one issue or another once she got down to it as if there was no nine year rift between them. And it also struck Satoshi that he was quite enjoying it too. Was it simply out of want of not really having anybody talk to him so candidly and willingly about their own lives and interests? Risa had always been so open, never bothering with fretting about other people's opinions when it concerned her own self and that kind of confidence had always been one of the chief things Satoshi liked about her. Namely she was easy to get along to when you didn't try to control her. Indeed, he enjoyed listening to her... or was there something more to it? That was certainly not something he was properly prepared to accept, even though she aroused within him a certain sense of calm and warmth he didn't know was missing in the first place. It was just that being so close to her again felt so strangely natural to him that made his body tingle a bit... not a lot, but definitely a bit.

"...and this guy just grabbed his harp and started playing it over his head like an electric guitar! It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Hahaha!" God, did he love that sweet-toned laughter. Suddenly Risa seemed to snap out of her thoughts and said: "Oh, but listen to me jabbering on and on about myself. Really, Hiwatari-kun you should stop me if I get too carried away. I mean, I don't want to seem inconsiderate or anything, it just sometimes I don't really tend to notice when..."

"It's okay, Harada-san," Satoshi curtly interrupted. "I quite enjoy hearing of your life and the like."

"Mmm... I'm glad to hear that."

"By the way, how's your sister doing? You still keep in touch with her?" Satoshi continued not wanting to either cause an awkward moment of quiet or a lapse in the general ambience of friendship.

"Of course. She's not likely to get rid of me that easily," she said with a mischievous grin on her face before adding. "You know she's married now?" After not getting much of a reaction from Satoshi, she continued "Uh-huh. She finally got married with Niwa-ku... ummh... that is, Daisuke-kun two years ago... Heh, it's still so difficult to get used to calling him that even if he is one of my oldest friends. Anyway, I was actually starting to think that would never happen until one evening he apparently just popped the question. Riku told me he was so nervous that he was shaking all around and being more clumsy than usual, and when she said yes, he seemed ready to pass out. Ah... that would have so much fun to see... I bet my imagination can't even come close to picturing that little moment. Oh, and they really would have wanted to invite you to the wedding too, but you didn't exactly leave an address or anything to contact you with."

"It doesn't matter. As long as they are happy together, I'm happy for them," Satoshi said in his usual monotone drone. "And what about you? Are you seeing anybody? Or something more serious?" he continued.

"That's a weird question," she said with slightly widened eyes.

Somewhat confused as to what was so weird about it that he had to ask. "How so?"

Giving a small giggle, Risa just said, "It's not the question per sé, but it's you making it. I mean, let's face it, to me you would be the last person to be interested in my relationshipal life."

"I can ask can I?"

"Of course you _can_. You just never struck me as a person asking about stuff like that rather than, say, asking about equations or some deep, sociological problems."

Well, of course she had a point. Relationships and whose marrying whom or seeing somebody wasn't a particularly characteristic concern to him. In fact, now he was wondering why did he ask that of Risa to begin with. Must have been the whole Niwa-sister marriage thing that had just brought the question to mind.

"I'm sorry if I was being impertinent," Satoshi apologised.

Risa just rolled her eyes. "I didn't say you were being impertinent. I was just surprised, is all. And for your information, no I'm not seeing anybody. Seriously, I just don't have time for guys."

Now that gave Satoshi a small sting at the back of his head as something he had never expected to hear coming out of her mouth. For all he could remember, Risa was perhaps the single one person he was always expecting to make a big deal about finding the right guy and getting married and everything else that went with it... something that really did manifest with her age-old delusional obsessions and crush concerning that Phantom Thief Dark. He still vividly remember all the insane things she did in the name of "love". And now she doesn't have time for that? Satoshi always thought that was his line. Somehow it just didn't fit in when coming from her, and he couldn't help but feel slightly bitter that the one person he had actually never wanted to end up like him was sitting right across him now.

Seeing Satoshi seemingly drifting into some isolated mode of thought, Risa gave a questioning "Hiwatari-kun?" that proved to be enough to snap his attention back on her. "Where did you just go off to?" she asked with a small glint of amusement.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you," Satoshi simply droned out.

Suddenly, without any warning, Risa just burst out laughing. Somehow it just struck her as incredibly funny how polite Satoshi always was and how nothing had seemingly changed in him even after all these years. Such a perfect gentleman... Satoshi on the other hand was just staring at her as if she had just lost her mind. Surely he did not recall anybody telling a joke, nor that he had said anything remotely amusing. _'I shall never, for as long as I live, ever understand this girl,' _he gloomily thought to himself.

Composing herself enough to be able to apologise to Satoshi, the two just quietly looked over each other. Actually, it was only now for the first time Risa noticed that he wasn't wearing his usual glasses._'Must be wearing contacts... He surely looks a whole lot younger now though. Not so bookwormy... Really, has he always looked this handsome?' _Risa pondered to herself... platonically speaking of course as she reminded herself. _'And thus the butterfly emerges... or would butterfly be an adept metaphor? Maybe an eagle? Horses for courses, Risa...' _she continued rambling on in her head.

Satoshi on the other hand was doing pretty much the same thing that Risa was. Now having the opportunity to pay closer attention to her, he quite enjoyed the views. Risa certainly had blossomed over the years and her emergence into womanhood had definitely turned her even more attractive than he remembered her being. But despite all of that, she still had that girlish attitude in her that made her seem so unspoiled and protected from the woes of the world. Still innocent._'She even still has that same layered hairstyle with the ribbon. And her eyes still have that incredibly bright lustre in them... like two big mirrors to her soul...' _Suddenly snapping out of these thoughts and feeling his cheeks warm up, he pushed that train of thought out of his mind, feeling a bit embarrassed for even entertaining such ideas. _'What's the matter with you Satoshi? You sound like some whacked up teenager. Thinking like this won't be good for you...'_

Satoshi's internal tirade, however, was soon interrupted by Risa's timid "Hiwatari-kun?" Turning his attention once more the girl, Satoshi noticed that she now seemed somewhat bothered. _'Jeez, now she's totally changed again. How long was I out?'_ "Harada-san, are you all right?" he asked out loud.

Risa just nodded and said quietly, "Hiwatari-kun, may ask you something...?" Satoshi just nodded, a bit worried about what was so serious she was going to ask that had made her so nervous. "Hiwatari-kun... why did you leave Azumano so suddenly? You didn't even say goodbye."

Ah, the dreaded question. Satoshi supposed it would have been only a matter of time before she asked that, but he still didn't like the feeling of having to confront it. And even though he had reasoned everything to himself so many times, it was a different thing to actually explain them to somebody else. And he had the sneaking suspicion that Risa would not be that accepting of them anyway. Treading carefully around the question, he just gave a shrug and said "I just had to leave."

"That's not really answering the question," Risa said accusingly.

"Sorry that you feel that way, but there really isn't anything more to it. With my father gone, it was left to me to take care of his businesses and I couldn't do that from Japan. So the obvious solution was to go away." Satoshi hoped that sounded plausible enough for her. He really didn't like lying to her, but stating his real reasons would not have been a good idea. Risa, however, didn't seem too satisfied with his answer. _'I hope I'm not that bad a liar,' _Satoshi nervously thought.

"I see. So basically what you're saying is that we meant so little to you that you didn't even feel it necessary to leave a phone number or say goodbye... or even left a small little note telling us to get stuffed or something?"

'_Ouch, that was harsh,'_ Satoshi thought. She certainly knew how to make a guy feel guilty. "No, that's not like it at all. I guess something like that just slipped out of my mind."

"Slipped... out of your mind?" Risa said somewhat incredulously. "And that makes it somehow more acceptable?"

"No, but... look, it's not like I wanted to hurt you guys on purpose or anything. I just didn't really think about that as much or that you would be upset over it." _'Damn it,' _Satoshi thought irritably, _'I need to start thinking up better excuses for future reference.'_

Risa still didn't seem very satisfied, but neither did she say anything anymore, only thoughtfully looked him in the face. But if possible, Satoshi was liking this action even less than having to hear out accusing words. Just her thoughtful silence and those bright eyes staring at him, as if she was trying to drill a hole into his soul, was making him very anxious, totally unbefitting to a Hikari heir. After a while of silence, she quietly asked in the most simple way, "Hiwatari-kun... are you afraid?"

"What...?" was all that he could muster from his shock.

Risa just sat up and bent over the table so her face was only inches away from his face. "I asked are you afraid?"

"Of what?"

"...Closeness. Of human touch. Of having to care for somebody else."

'_Damn, how did she become so observant?' _Satoshi could feel his face heating up from being so close to Risa... way, way too close. "What makes you think that?"

"Because you are not the only one priviledged to make observations and I know you, Hiwatari-kun. You've always isolated yourself, always stayed on your own, never letting anybody get near you. You know that's not very healthy. You should open up more, allow other people to get near you."

"Maybe I have good reasons to not let others near me," Satoshi reasoned.

"What reasons? Krad? He's gone, Hiwatari-kun. There's no need to hide because of him anymore. Your smarts? No, that would make no sense. Because you think of yourself more highly than others? That's not it either, because I know you are not like that. Honestly Hiwatari-kun, there are no reasons. The only thing I can think of is that you would be afraid of getting emotionally hurt. But you know what Hiwatari? That's just part of life. Sure, sometimes people don't get along that well, but the positives of being around people far outweigh the negatives, and if you just got up and walked out into the world among the people, you'd know that," Risa ended her little rant.

Satoshi didn't really know what to say to that. He was far too stunned to think of any effective comeback. And how could he, as he knew very well that Risa was right. He had always isolated himself. It used to be out of necessity, but those old reasons had no bearing anymore. Indeed, Krad was a powerful reason why not to get close to others, but that reason had not existed for the past ten years now.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Risa asked with a more calm voice.

Satoshi just stared at the cup of tea on the table and, too tired to start lying again, quietly said "Yes, Risa-san."

"Eh...?" That caught Risa off guard. "Wh...what did you just say?"

Looking up into her eyes, Satoshi repeated, "I said you were correct, Harada-san."

"No, not that. The other part," Risa said vehemently.

"The other... part...?" Satoshi was once more at a loss in front of her.

"You just called me 'Risa'."

'_Slip of a tongue...' _Satoshi scolded himself. "Sorry about that Harada-san. I didn't mean to..."

"No. No... I... I actually kind of liked it just now... Satoshi-kun," she playfully finished with a small glint in the eye.

Blushing a small bit, Satoshi couldn't but think _'I guess familiarity breeds familiarity, but this is getting downright too familiar.' _On the other hand, Satoshi couldn't deny that at the same time he also quite liked the feeling it brought to him.

At the same time Risa couldn't but congratulate herself. _'Score one for the heart team. Maybe we'll make a human being out of him yet.'_ And as much as she would have liked to continue this moment of bonding, she suddenly came to realise what time it was. "Oh, Hiwatari-kun, it's already nearing ten, and I have an early wake-up tomorrow morning."

"You are going somewhere?" Satoshi questioned.

"I have to travel to Los Angeles. I have another recital next week and there are some recordings I need to discuss while I'm there," Risa answered while starting to pull her coat back on.

Satoshi couldn't but feel slightly disappointed that she would be going so soon. But of course there was nothing he could say to make her stay behind, so the best thing he could do was to just accept it and escort her back to her hotel.

- O -

Arriving in front of the Plaza Hotel, Satoshi paid the taxi and prepared to say his goodbyes to Risa. It was obvious neither really wanted to part so soon, but there really was nothing either of them could do about it.

"Well, I guess this is it then," Risa said with a half-hearted smile.

"Hn. I suppose so," Satoshi confirmed. "Well, I guess I'll just wish you all the best and a safe trip, Harada-san."

"Risa." Catching Satoshi's confuddled face, Risa clarified, "Could you... just call me Risa? I mean, we are friends right? I think I would like that... much better than 'Harada-san'. It's so formal... I mean, of course if you don't want to..."

"Sure... Risa-san."

"Thank you, Hiwatari-kun."

"Hm, just call me Satoshi as seemingly we already know each other well enough and I would just feel silly calling you Risa-san with you still referring to me as Hiwatari," Satoshi said in his usual matter-of-fact tone.

"Okay... Satoshi-kun. Umm, I wonder... could you leave me a... phone number or e-mail address or something? I'd like to keep in touch with you, instead of having another nine year break. I mean, if that's okay with you. I understand if you don't want to hear from me again if..."

"No, of course. I think I'd like to stay in touch with you too, Risa-san. On one condition, though. Only if you leave your own contact information."

"Sure." With that the two of them exchanged business cards and prepared to say their good nights and goodbyes, Risa giving Satoshi another crush-hug and Satoshi responded with an old-fashioned kiss on Risa's hand, after which he also promised to come see her off tomorrow. Then the two departed in their own directions.

On his way home, Satoshi couldn't help but smile at himself, and even giving out a small laugh. His seemingly old worries of abnormality had been suddenly washed away as if by a magic strike, and he felt his life had just been given a new purpose to exist. Indeed, Satoshi Hiwatari did not feel alone anymore even as he would still be living alone. But as long as there was one person in this world who was happy that he lived; who didn't think there was something inherently abnormal about him; who wanted to be his friend... a true friend, then he knew he would have nothing to fear. Where all of this would end up leading to was anybody's guess, but that night the magic touch of a concert pianist over Rach's Third was enough to make everything seem possible.

* * *

_Wow, this turned out to be longer than I anticipated. I hope this didn't turn out too schmaltzy or cheesy. Anyways, feedback is appreciated, whether good or bad._


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